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The Never Ending Pursuit of Self-Care

Writer's pictureIan J Aman

Two Tips to Have Better Habits



It’s already the first week of the new year and already I’m unfocused, anxious, and all over the place. I’m wondering if all those self care tips were really working? Did I need something more dramatic to change my habits?


“Maybe you need to make a list?” Said my husband. It wasn’t a bad idea. I decided to bust out the old trusty whiteboard. Made a day for each column, and began my bullets. It seemed like the calendar on the wall was fine for events but not the daily things that I keep in my head, the things juggling constantly. Im still acting like zombie but this brings me to tip number one.


Don’t bring yourself down.


My friend says “you don’t talk about your friends like that, why would you talk about yourself that way?” Even when I forgot my wallet at the house, say the most awkward thing at a social gathering, or just plain awkward looking, I immediately want to say negative things. So don’t. One way is stop it is immediately move on to next activity. It prevents you from stewing.



“Well what about your habits? How do we break the bad ones?” I ask myself. I sit on the couch hopelessly stuck to it like “I don’t want to do anything but sit here, tired, lazy, and undoubtedly bleh.”


First, you need to make your health compass is strong and solid. If your hungry, angry, tired, lonely, now is not the time to make change. You aren’t in the mood and you definitely will not want to bring about transformation.


Make one small goal.


Research shows only 8 percent of people are able to keep their New Year's resolutions. One small goal makes productivity increase by 50%. Hence a checklist increases productivity when you finish one small goal. What happens is the habit to change will increase. It sounds easy to do but it is powerful. Use the power of small goal each day under your checklist.


Like this

Monday

Pack lunch

Put away dishes

Have yoga gear ready in car

Pack computer in car

Small goal:

Clean house while watching some Netflix.


Ken Sheldon did research on outside and inside goals., finding out that goals which increase feelings of autonomy, competence, or connection to others lead to greater happiness.



Have a larger goal that ensures your on the right track. It wouldn't make sense to make random small goals if the flying arrow isn't gong to land on your target. While mine looks to aim for more physical activity, look for a long term goal that helps find your truth path.

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