When I came to my first Pride Parade I was slightly nervous. I hear the rumors of craziness, and agenda pushing gays. I hear the confrontations from bible protesters with signs glaring with words "sin" and "hell." As I walked to the street to find a spot to see the parade, all around me were people waving flags and families joyfully screaming and waving.
June generally marks Pride month for the LGBTQIA community. If you noticed the rainbow flags in some major cities, you may know that there is usually a pride event around the corner. If you have never been, I strongly suggest you come to see one. The Pride community pushes limits and boundaries with wild and beautiful costumes, and sometimes scandalous bondage, leather wrapped around skin, exposed for all to see. It truly is "Come as your inner self outwards." All the while, the community works to send the message of equality and love for everyone. Yes it looks like a party but it's the gays way of saying party to love and rights.
Couple taking wedding photo
There may be things that may shock you or may not but the idea of keeping the experience light and fun will help you to enjoy the experience. I was certainly shocked mainly coming from a small town, with Catholic and Filipino upbringing. I was also scared out of mind if I ran into someone who spotted me during the event, inevitably outing me. In my head I reason "just an ally!" In addition, my social awkwardness made crowds incredibly challenging and my high anxiety would verge of a panic attack. Let alone there's judge-y looks everywhere. Here's what I learned to help handle my social anxiety and help you navigate the diva-rainbow-road.
1) Hunt down the pride event itinerary; Plan out your day to help navigate big crowds, parking disasters, and food hunger with even more crowds. This even applies to general community events. As an anxious person, when we planned our trip to San Francisco, I feared I would be stuck in traffic for hours and that we would be lost in the sea of concrete forests with no parking. Use Google Maps to help plan out a timeline and less time lost trying to figure out where to go. Google Maps also predicts what kind of traffic you'll get into. You can forward the Google Map destinations to everyone.
2) Pack essentials to protect your skin from at least fours of bright sun. Hydrate and if you're prone to headaches like me, bring some Tylenol or Advil. Bring some shades to help not only protect your eyes but allows you to confront crowds with out direct eye contact. I have found this extremely helpful and almost like a shield from my anxiety producing sweat bullets. Wear something festive after all it's Pride. Research has shown that if you dress the part you'll feel the part. Smile and enjoy company around you.
3) Remember to take deep breaths or what I like to do is hold my breath for like 3-5 seconds and slow release to help the heart 💓 beat slower. Quick mindfulness exercise: Name at least 10 objects describing their color and size. "Tall grey post, yellow shiny beads, etc" to help you focus on the environment and not go into your head. This was key to when a friend bumped into someone he knew and I felt awkward looking around waiting while they chatted.
4)Challenge yourself to stick around and enjoy the festivities. I felt a couple of times the pushy crowds and wild comments wanted me to flee to my special hiding place-my house. My mind fluttered with negative self talk. But I pushed through which ultimately paid off. I was able to enjoy the dancing and brush off the baddies. However, if you mood and heart aren't in the right place, heave on home. It's totally fine and OK to stick for as long as you can and the check out. After all, no one wants a rain on my parade.
5) Find one statement that empower you like mine "everything will be okay" or "Grow through what you go through." Even when I want to do something crazy while I'm driving because someone cut me off, or ready to throw down when I get shoved, I use a mantra to help calm myself and look for the positive. In a recent podcast called the Science of Happiness, Keltner says to find three good things in a day. Why? " All the little things that bring us happiness on a daily basis – the laugh of a friend, or sharing a good story with family members – our mind gets used to those experiences they no longer bring us joy." We tend to take these for granted. Write three things down and really understand what made it a good thing.
Take Care Care Bears,Ian
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