The worst thing I hate is going to places and people I don't really care for. Where's that pizza and Netflix calling me at my home? However, sometimes we have to confront our anxieties, fears, and move forward in life. For example, there's an event at work that I really don't want to go to but know it will help build networking skills, essential in the job force. But what if we interact with someone we just cant stand or how do we handle the escape room? The problem is how do we get through the icky-sticky awkward situations?
Honestly, if awkward was my middle name, you would see it. I've been better overtime but the initiative to reach out, talk with confidence, and be likeable is like wanting to shove bricks down my throat.
Through the years, I've learned from a few leaders and managed to make awkward become awesome, comfortable places. There's a sort of finesse to it and I have learned to keep situations light.
The truth about non-verbals is true. It's the very real temperature gauge of how feel when we interact with someone. For example, if you find yourself engaged with a close friend, you may or may not have noticed how you're leaning in, shoulders squared, nodding, following their discussion.
Other times, you may find yourself disinterested and bored with someone you're speaking with. You'll notice your feet turned away but your torso towards them as if you're trying to leave. You'll notice you're looking at your phone or the clock on the wall. Those distinct non-verbals can be powerful cues to even the most simplest non verbal reader.
Here are a few tips I've learned in my top 5 ways to make awkward turned awesome conversations that not only draw that law of attraction but that effortless confidence to exude.
The most effective way to get through an event is to have a smile. Smiles are highly effective in very social times. A natural smile shows confidence, openness, and comfortability. (Even if you’re screaming and dying inside). Use your eyes to smile and shake hands with a firm grip. Not only does it trigger you to make light of the event, your negative thoughts are less likely to seep through. PsychologyToday says it increases your body’s endorphins, releasing dopamine (the feel good feeling). Fake it till you make it.
The second effective way is always be polite and curt when you’re not in the mood to talk. The amount of energy that you took for yourself to be at this even was a lot. However, you know that you can stay for one more hour. Politeness makes people come to you coupled with the short conversations, you have now become slightly mysterious (even though you’re sofa is begging you to stay).
Third, if you need a little time to regroup during the event, use the restroom as a period of meditation and quiet solitude. I have found this to help calm the nerves, focus on the breathing, and utilize muscle relaxation (clenching the fists, relaxing the fists, flexing the arms, then relaxing the arms). If there’s any doubts, or negativity, combat them with a timer. Set at timer of the number of minutes you are willing to stay. If 45 minutes is your ultimate threshold, set a silent timer. When you’re at the event, you can quickly look at your phone, and use it as a way to say that you need to go.
Lastly, don’t look at your phone when there’s awkwardness. Phones become the simple excuse that I can look away and keep myself preoccupied. When you handle awkwardness with tactfulness, you become a very charismatic person. For example, change the topic to something you find interesting that every one else can engage in such as a recent movie that is in theaters, or a show that you really enjoyed. One way is doing the pick one “would you rather.”
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