Lonely isn't the loneliness you crave when you enjoy being by yourself. This lonely is the one that harms your soul, your health, and your mental well being.
If you're reading this, you're not the only one who feels alone. "20,000 U.S. adults using the well-regarded UCLA Loneliness Scale to see how widespread loneliness is in America. Among other findings: Nearly half of Americans report sometimes or always feeling alone (46%) or left out (47%).
You may want to pay attention to the following red flags of loneliness and how it can affect you or your loved one:
1) Living Alone. Some people are happy alone but it turns out in "One study followed nearly 45,000 people ages 45 and up who had heart disease or a high risk of developing the condition. Those who lived alone, were more likely to die from heart attacks, strokes, or other heart complications over a four-year period than people living with family or friends, or in some other communal arrangement."
Why? It turns out humans live and thrive in interconnections with others. The need goes back to our biological roots where remaining in nomad clusters meant people tended to live longer as they relied on each other for food, and shelter.
2) Feeling alone. Many people may be in the most social of situations but feel lonely. As opposed to those who feel happy to be alone and are in social situations. Get the difference? When you feel alone even when there are other people in the room, this can be normal for everyone. Sometimes, you realize everyone is in pairs and you're looking around like where's my pair. Other times, you're perfectly content on you and it doesn't matter.
For some, this can be a sign of something deeper within yourself that may indicate sadness. Sadness that is just more than sadness, but truly the beginnings of depression, if consistent and affecting you and your loved ones around you.
"However, in another study of adults 50 and older, published earlier this year in the International Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, Dr. Donovan and co-authors reported that loneliness was linked to worsening cognitive function over a 12-year period, whereas initially poor cognitive function did not lead to increased loneliness.
When the researchers examined their findings more closely, they discovered that depression, even relatively mild depression, had a greater effect than loneliness on the risk of cognitive decline."
3) You tend to become ill often. It turns out that loneliness affects your immune system. When you become stressed, depressed, or isolated, your body's defenses weaken. NPR reports, lonely people's white blood cells seem to be more active in a way that increases inflammation, a natural immune response to wounding and bacterial infection.
Inflammation is your body's response to a pathogen but is unable to locate the exact source. So it sends these white blood cells everywhere which causes the inflammation. You would think it would increase your immunity but it actually makes it more difficult.
So how do we take care of this?
1) Speak with your doctor. Make sure you don't have something that is causing your loneliness to be genetically or medically link. This will immediately rule out anything biologically related to your feelings. A health professional knows patterns to loneliness and sees this as the one of the number one things people come in for help. This also helps you find concerted effort to break the isolation by going somewhere, and talking to someone who has an outside perspective. The first step is the hardest one but the most effective.
2) Create a list of friends you know with the following interactions: 1) the friend you think about but you haven't heard from 2) the friend or family member you like talking to the most 3) the friend or family member who you hardly know. Call, text, send an email, and say this "Hi this is ___ and I wanted to see how you are. I hope you're having a great day." Send this the first thing the morning. It turns out that people are more likely to respond to you when you send this in the morning because it's usually the first thing they see.
3) Target your SEW. Sew is the acronym I used to help remind me I was sowing goodness into my health and soul. SEW stands for Sleep, Exercise, Work. Sleep is a major part of regulating your body's chemical balances. You must dedicate a sleeping schedule that ensures you not only get ample hours but is on a consistent schedule. Exercise isn't a cross-fit work out but it can be. Moving your body in some sort of fashion increases immunity and endurance. Lastly, work provides purpose and meaning in life. Work generally requires interactions with others. If it doesn't, then make it interactive by teaching what you're doing, or going to class to work with others.
Please share this article with someone who may be feeling lonely.
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